Post by Archangel on Mar 3, 2006 23:28:11 GMT -5
I just want to say something. And this is gonna be weird, especially coming from me, but sometimes, when you have an epiphany, you kinda need other people to read it. I don't think anyone should respond to this, unless it's to say "Yeah, me too!" And I'm definitely not doing this for attention. I just want to get it out there.
There is a reason for us to be here. We may not know what that reason is, but it's there, in every one of us. Life is not meaningless. There are bits and pieces of meaning out there for everyone, if they only know how to look, and if they are in the right mindset. Somewhere out there, in the vastness of your own psyche or in the incredible infinite space of creation, there is a reason for you to be here. And I know this for a fact. You know how I know this? Logic.
Logic says this: I am still here, and therefore there must be a reason to life. Let me explain that. I have tried to kill myself multiple times, and I've had at least 4 solid plans. And every one of them could have gone terribly right for me. A few minutes more, and I could have been wrapped around my own steering column with my car imbedded in a tree. A couple of missing friends *coughMattDeDaveLauriecoughcough* just to name a few, and I could have been a smear at the bottom of the Thurston Ave bridge. An inch closer, and I could either be covered in 3rd degree burns, or dead from the severe shock. A single missed conversation, or a couple more hours, and I could be dead from asphyxiation. I was close to death many, many times. Especially that last one....I don't even know how I survived as long as I did, considering I had that bag taped securely. But I am still here.
There's only one explanation for why I'm still here. Because there's something in my life I still have to do. It's not because I made mistakes, or I wasn't trying hard enough. Trust me, I tried pretty damn hard every time. It's because there is something in this life that I have to do. I don't know what it is. Hell, I may not even know it when I've finally done it! But something, call it Fate, call it Luck, call it God, call it whatever you want, something has kept me here. Something has kept me alive. Through all the craziness of the past 2-3 years, through all the insanity and the ups and downs, through the Voices and the people I love and the people who hate me....I am still here.
And that brings me to discover something. If I have a reason for being here, and I'm no different from any one of you, then it stands to reason that you all have a reason to be here too! I mean, I am not better than any of you, not by a long shot. In many ways, I'm much, much worse. But Fate has decided to give me a reason to be alive. Why shouldn't it have given you a reason too? Why shouldn't Fate decide that you need a reason to live too? Logic states that if two things are mostly the same, and the same stimuli influence them, they are likely to act similarly. If we are all equals here, and we have all gone through our own pain, then it stands to reason that we all come out the same. Not mentally, dear God no not that. We're ALL different mentally, and we all act differently under stress. I'm talking eventualities, systems of causality...Fate. If Fate affects similar people in similar ways, then they should be destined to similar fates.
I have a reason in life. I don't claim to know what it is, nor do I claim I will EVER know what it is. I don't know if it's a good reason or an evil reason. What is good and evil? Where does the opinion end and the truth begin? But I do know this: I'm here for a reason. And so are you. Whoever's reading this. You're here because you've got something to do.
So let's...go out and do it.
*/spiel*
There is a reason for us to be here. We may not know what that reason is, but it's there, in every one of us. Life is not meaningless. There are bits and pieces of meaning out there for everyone, if they only know how to look, and if they are in the right mindset. Somewhere out there, in the vastness of your own psyche or in the incredible infinite space of creation, there is a reason for you to be here. And I know this for a fact. You know how I know this? Logic.
Logic says this: I am still here, and therefore there must be a reason to life. Let me explain that. I have tried to kill myself multiple times, and I've had at least 4 solid plans. And every one of them could have gone terribly right for me. A few minutes more, and I could have been wrapped around my own steering column with my car imbedded in a tree. A couple of missing friends *coughMattDeDaveLauriecoughcough* just to name a few, and I could have been a smear at the bottom of the Thurston Ave bridge. An inch closer, and I could either be covered in 3rd degree burns, or dead from the severe shock. A single missed conversation, or a couple more hours, and I could be dead from asphyxiation. I was close to death many, many times. Especially that last one....I don't even know how I survived as long as I did, considering I had that bag taped securely. But I am still here.
There's only one explanation for why I'm still here. Because there's something in my life I still have to do. It's not because I made mistakes, or I wasn't trying hard enough. Trust me, I tried pretty damn hard every time. It's because there is something in this life that I have to do. I don't know what it is. Hell, I may not even know it when I've finally done it! But something, call it Fate, call it Luck, call it God, call it whatever you want, something has kept me here. Something has kept me alive. Through all the craziness of the past 2-3 years, through all the insanity and the ups and downs, through the Voices and the people I love and the people who hate me....I am still here.
And that brings me to discover something. If I have a reason for being here, and I'm no different from any one of you, then it stands to reason that you all have a reason to be here too! I mean, I am not better than any of you, not by a long shot. In many ways, I'm much, much worse. But Fate has decided to give me a reason to be alive. Why shouldn't it have given you a reason too? Why shouldn't Fate decide that you need a reason to live too? Logic states that if two things are mostly the same, and the same stimuli influence them, they are likely to act similarly. If we are all equals here, and we have all gone through our own pain, then it stands to reason that we all come out the same. Not mentally, dear God no not that. We're ALL different mentally, and we all act differently under stress. I'm talking eventualities, systems of causality...Fate. If Fate affects similar people in similar ways, then they should be destined to similar fates.
I have a reason in life. I don't claim to know what it is, nor do I claim I will EVER know what it is. I don't know if it's a good reason or an evil reason. What is good and evil? Where does the opinion end and the truth begin? But I do know this: I'm here for a reason. And so are you. Whoever's reading this. You're here because you've got something to do.
So let's...go out and do it.
*/spiel*